11 unwritten rules of success

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough― Mae West. Life can be very tough and challenging at times but we always have to keep on fighting ahead. Knowing some things very early in life will help you to avoid certain mistakes. This write-up is a guide to help you in your effort at succeeding in life. I am a very young person and may not know it all but I pray the following points aid you in your effort to succeed in the journey of life and achieve your God given purpose in life.

Show respect to everyone. Everyone is gifted in one way or the other. Therefore if some is bad at a task, it doesn’t mean the person is good for nothing. There are so many other ways that this same person could be useful. One the most embarrassing things that can happen to you is for someone you disrespected to show you the way on an issue.

Live within your means. Try as much as possible to budget the resources you have and live within it. If you have to borrow money, use it for something that will yield profit. Living within your means does not mean you should go for cheap stuff. Sometimes, cheap things end up been very expensive in the end. For example, if you want to buy a car, all things being equal for the same brand of car, a 2008 model will be better than a 2002 model. The question is if you can’t afford the 2008 model but can do with the 2002 model which in the end results in the mechanic becoming your friend because of the frequency of your visits to his shop then what is the point. It is sometimes better to go out of your means to borrow an interest free loan from a friend or family member to purchase the 2008 model since its maintenance cost is low and will save you money in the end.

Be faithful and committed to whatever you are involved in. The reason why most employers will select someone with first class over another with second class or third class is not because the one with the first class is necessarily better but because his grades are a sign that he takes whatever he does seriously. So your ultimate reference in life not your former boss but how  dilligently you carried out previous work.

Commit to lifelong learning. Education is the investment with the highest yield. Earning a single degree can reap you returns for life. Get a master’s degree, a professional certification and most importantly keep reading books to enhance your understanding of new issues and get more knowledge. Attend conferences on personal development and on areas where you have practically no idea. Your introduction to a new area could be the beginning of success. Try reading one book every week or read an article a day to enhance your knowledge.

Observe the Pareto (10\10\80) Principle. For every amount you earn, put 10% into an investment instrument, tithe the next 10% and live within the next 80%. If you can, you can increase the amount to 20/10/70 as this will speed up your effort to become financially independent. Being financially independent will help you achieve and overcome so many obstacles in life. Money is not everything but it makes the world go round.

Network, network, network. Have you heard the saying that “you are three people away from connecting with that person you look up to”. It is important that we continue to get to know more people as the days go by. The reason basically is that you need people to help you to solve the problems around you and the more people you know, the more the likelihood that you will bump into one of them when you are in need.

Believe in higher authority. It is dangerous to live in this world and think that the world just came into being by some magical or scientific means. Believing in a higher authority (God) makes it easy for you to humble yourself since we are all where we are by his Grace. Whatever you believe in, always do unto others what you expect them to do unto you. This is a universal principle and you don’t need to attend church to reap its benefits.

Take time to travel. Travelling allows you to get to know at firsthand what is going on around you and reduces your over reliance on the media for information which may have been blown out of proportion. It also helps you to develop different perspectives on cultures and help you to relate with people from all spheres of life. If you cannot afford to travel abroad, you can begin by exploring your own country. Once you are done with that, then you could consider travelling outside your country. This demands careful planning and preparation both financially and a bit of reading here and there about your possible destination. Setting up a special account for this purpose and saving a little amount every month for that trip will be very helpful.

Maintain a good circle of friends and never cut off relationship completely with any of them no matter what unless your life or reputation is at risk. Remember your friends are human beings and they also have their own short comings. It is likely that they will offend you but always do well to forgive them. If you find it difficult to forgive your friends when they offend you, assume that they are your siblings and people don’t normally do away with their siblings forever. The point is you never know what situation you may find yourself in tomorrow and that person you cut off would have provided the needed help.

Develop a strategic life plan. A Strategic life plan is like a business plan for your life. It is a guided process by which an individual takes stock of his or her life, clarifies goals and challenges, identifies the steps needed to move forward and connecting the mind with the goals. It is important for you to plan your life, putting in place a 5 year strategic plan of how your life will look like in 2018 and working towards it challenges you to work hard at it. That plan should be holistic entailing how your social, career and religious life will be and putting in place measures to work towards that using the resources you have. Remember that life is how you make it and we are an embodiment of the decisions we make in life.

Fail forward. So much as we all dread failure; it can be a good thing. At the beginning of the 2013/2014 English Premier League season, my favourite team Arsenal suffered a massive 3-1 defeat at home to Aston Villa in their first game. There was huge out cry from the fans with some even calling for the head of our coach Arsene Wenger. Check the league table today and you will notice they are lying comfortably at the summit of the table. This story should tell you that failing is not as important as how you respond to it. Show me a man who has not experienced failure and I will show you a man who has not achieved. So what is the best thing to do what you experience failure? Sit back, relax and assess yourself and identify the mistakes you made that caused you to fail and make sure you rectify them in your endeavors ahead and success will certainly follow. When failure comes don’t give but rise again and fail forward but most important learn the lessons.

DEALING WITH SCREENAGERS

A screenager is a term used to describe teenagers who spend too much time in front of the screen (television or computer screens) and your child may just be in this category. Many parents are concerned about the impact of these tech gadgets in the lives of their children.

The internet has become an important tool in the education and upbringing of kids today. Through the guided use of the internet children will cultivate the habit of learning independently. Their ability to use sites like Google will aid them in doing their homework and learning other things on their own thereby reducing their over reliance you.

It is a fact that broadband is expensive in most part of the world but nothing good is achieved on a platter of gold. There are so many useful websites that kids can use to supplement their learning at school. Sites like khanacademy, graphite, bbcbitesize, wonderopolis, pbskids are very useful in this direction. Parenting also has these ten sites which can aid children in the edutainment. Some may argue that the use of the internet by children comes with its own consequences but so does every good thing. The important thing is for parents to regulate its use and make sure children are using it for the purpose for which they secured it for them. They can achieve this by making it a point to always check the browsing history of their kids and also blocking certain sites which may be harmful to them.

Cyber bullying is on the increase and so parents have to be very vigilant about when their kids do online. Because of the emergence of social media platforms like Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Instagram of which children are a part, they get exposed to strangers and bullies very early in the lives. In recent times some children have committed suicide because their colleagues bullied them using such cyber platforms.

 One sure thing parents can do is to teach children about digital citizenship and also be a role model since they are likely to visit your page on social media platform. If they visit your page online and realize that you are putting out nonsense, they sure will follow suit.   

Parents can also create an account on these platforms and befriend their kids and set rules concerning responsible use of the internet whose punishment is taking them completely of the net if the go contrary to these rules. This way you have access to their wall and will be able to know if anyone is trying to hurt them using the cyber platform.

Educate kids about privacy settings on social media and have them log into Facebook Twitter, Google+ and check their privacy settings. One good way to stay safe online is to set their profiles to private so that only people they invite can see their post. When an account is set up on social media everything is public by default and kids may not know who is seeing the information they post online it therefore behooves on caring parents to help their kids to manually edit their privacy setting by using the settings tab.

Educate them about the danger of posting certain sensitive information online and advise them not to give out personal information to strangers online. For example it is important for them to know that the less selfies the put on line the better. They should also not advertise their location online as this could lead to a breach of their personal security.

Encourage them to create a strong password which is normally a combination of letters, alphabets and symbols and change them after every three months. They should desist from using their date of birth or the pet name as a password. The best password is forming a sentence that you can easily remember and using it as your password.

A more radical approach to controlling your kids online will be to agree with kids less than sixteen years to have access to their passwords if they want to create an account on social media otherwise they should not be allowed join such platforms. Though some may see this as overly intrusive of parents, you will agree with me that it is better to invade your child’s privacy than for them to commit suicide because there was no supervision of their activities online.

It is also important for parents to set time limits on how long their kids can spend online. Some children spend so much time such that they end up becoming antisocial. Kids need to balance their the online life with real world activities.

Educating your child

Education is the process of equipping an individual with a unique set of skills that can be applied to solve problems in future. By this definition I don’t mean classroom education but education that affects every aspect of the child life and inculcate the virtue of lifelong learning in them because no school can teach our children all the important lessons needed to succeed in life.

Bringing up a child has changed tremendously from the way it was done in the 20^th century where children were only to be seen and not heard. The internet age child is well informed and as such can engage parents on all topics worthy of discussions even in areas where parents may be deficient.

Being someone who interacts with young people on daily basis, I have come to appreciate the fact that the way and manner we thought and behaved as children is completely different from the way kids of today behave. Today’s kids are bold and assertive as such requiring a lot of tactics in dealing with them.

In my days at primary and secondary school we went to class and sat for teachers to impact knowledge on us after which we asked questions cautiously. However, in this day and age the kids ask very intelligent questions sometimes to the extent of being more knowledgeable on a particular subject matter than their teachers.

The teacher’s function has therefore changed from being repository of knowledge to someone who can bring out the best in children by guiding their thoughts and way of thinking.

So how do you nurture a child to become useful individual who can affect their generation in an era where video games, social media, iPod, iPad and 3D televisions are the order of the day? Whether we like it or not these gadgets take a huge chunk of our kid’s time and are likely to affect how they turn out tomorrow.

The choice of school for our kids will obviously make an impact on their life even though I will be the first to admit that good parenting is equally important. Education should therefore not be left solely in the hands of teachers and educational administrators but parents should be equal partners in this regard. Below are a few tips to consider when selecting a school for your way.

Public or Private: The first point to consider is whether your children will attend private or public school. Well, that will depend on the stage of the child’s education; in basic level, private schools are the best but when it comes to secondary and tertiary most parents prefers public schools.

Performance: You must check the performance of the school over the past three years. If they are doing well and some of their students are getting into top school, then they are worth considering otherwise look for other options.

Distance: You may also want to consider the distance from the school to your house. Ideally, a school that is closer to home or a walking distance is preferable. Your children should not travel the entire city every day to get to school. This may leave them stressed out.

Kitchen: Food is another very important area parents should consider since kids at that stage need nutrients to grow. Visit the school preferably at the time they are having lunch and observe the quality of the food the kids are being served.  

Facilities: You might also want to know whether the school has good facilities such a spacious playing ground, a well-stocked library, an ICT centre, music centre, arts studios and others that will facilitate the holistic development of the child. The number of students per class is also important since that will determine how much time teachers will spend on your child. If the classes are over-crowded, the teacher will not spend quality time to explain the concepts to children who are struggling. A maximum of 30 students per class is ideal.

Teachers: Does the school have qualified teachers or just make shift ones. Qualified and committed teachers can make a lot of difference to your child perception and way of thinking.

Budget: Of course you wouldn’t want to choose a school whose fees you will struggle to pay. So if you are yet to start a family the better it is for you because you can start saving towards that now. The school fees of your children should not put too much strain on your family financial resources and cause you to borrow money from other people.

Owners: Also find out about the founders of the school. Do they have previous experience in education or have they hired the right administrators to do carry out that task. Some proprietors see their school as a business and are in it with the main aim of making money.

Feel free to send your comments and thoughts on this article to ericampah2003@gmail.com